There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
