this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
