so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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