new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We are two peas in an std pod
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
