She is in my trunk
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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