I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
