somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
