yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize