is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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