Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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