those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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