matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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