The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
