At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
40s are totally the cure
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
