ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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