its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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