Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
