pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
