You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
