just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
