I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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