sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
