I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
this beer tastes like vomit already
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
