WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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