i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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