She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
