I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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