You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This baby is an asshole
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
