plz talk dirty to me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
