i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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