just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
