i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize