something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
