it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
