Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
