Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
