hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
