Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she peed on how many people?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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