I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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