My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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