i can't believe i had my finger in that
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
