You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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