i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
