I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize