It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
God, I missed his penis.
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