lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
