Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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