She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize