the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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