they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Rumble strips road head = magical
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
