WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
