those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
