That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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