I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
