i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
