I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
