Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
