dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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