Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
