Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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