i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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