Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize